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Cam Newton’s Nicknames Extravaganza

By John Woodcock

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One of the nice things about Cam Newton is that Cam Newton likes Cam Newton. On the Fox telecast they put up some of the nicknames he used for the more important or curious teammates, but he actually went through a bunch more at training camp, as reported by David Newton at ESPN.

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Here’s Cam’s list as Newton of ESPN has it: “You ready…OK, here we go. We’ve got Joe Smo, obviously. We’ve got DA, Go Meister. We’ve got Tub of Goo. We’ve got Plate of Paste. We’ve got Chunky Soup. We’ve got Pinky. We’ve got Benji. We’ve got Schmoo. We’ve got Bando. We’ve got Rhino. We’ve got BBell. We’ve got Mauler. We’ve got Swoll Bones. We’ve got Ed, Edd and Eddy. We’ve got Mucus. We’ve got Javante. J-Co.”

That list is a little different that the Fox list which included Bersin and Whittaker, and a different name for Byron Bell. There may be a list of the correct names somewhere, but I will take my best shot to match some of these.

J-Co – Jerricho Cotchery, sort of a cop out, unless it is a play on J-Lo.

Javante- Jason Avant

Mucus- Marcus Lucas

Ed, Edd, and Eddy- Ed Dickson, and you know what decade Cam grew up in. Must have gotten the Cartoon
Network.

BBell- Byron Bell, since changed to Brisket according to Fox.

Rhino- Ryan Kalil?

Bando and Mauler: Fernando Velasco and Trai Turner? I am just guessing here, the logic stretches a bit. Bando rhymes with ‘Nando and Mauler could be an Ike Turner reference?

Benji- Kelvin Benjamin

Pinky- DeAngelo Williams. Unlike my Pinky and the Brain joke yesterday on Twitter, this is more likely to do with Williams’ dyed hair in respect of his mother’s passing.

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Cam Newton piles on Jared Goff as he names a bunch of quarterbacks 'game managers'
Cam Newton piles on Jared Goff as he names a bunch of quarterbacks 'game managers' /

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    • Chunky Soup- Jonathan Stewart. Getting here is tough. It is easier if you give Stewart is first nickname and work from there. Start with J-Stew, stew is like soup. The most famous soup is Campbell’s Chunky Soup, endorsed by several NFL players and their mothers. I would have named Stewart “Daily Show” personally.

    Tub of Goo- Mike Tolbert. Only putting that because the nicknames that follow close after are running backs.

    DA- Derek Anderson

    Joe Smo- Joe Webb?

    Sep 14, 2014; Charlotte, NC, USA; Carolina Panthers wide receiver Brenton Bersin (11) with the ball in the first half at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

    Fox added a couple new ones yesterday-

    Lord Farquad- Brenton Bersin, in acknowledgment of Bersin’s hair style looking like the Shrek character

    ObiWan- Chris Ogbannaya, hasn’t been here long but has a nickname

    Boucher- Fozzy Whittaker

    I misheard the Fox broadcast when they discussed this one and so I had a far more elaborate reason for
    this choice. I thought the Fox crew said that Cam thought his name was “Fonzie” for three weeks, which is a mistake I have fallen into a couple of times. So I figured the key was Fonzie = Henry Winkler, Henry Winkler = coach in Water Boy, Water Boy = Bobby Boucher.

    No, it seems the correct version is simply that Cam thought his name was ‘Bobby’ and then attached the Boucher from there.

    Oh, well. If you can figure out the remaining nicknames, or think I have one figured wrong leave a comment.

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